Being vulnerable…
For me one of the most scaring things in life is to be in my vulnerable place where I fell and accept everything within me, that is when I have an open heart. When I have an open heart I feel everything, not only from me, but from everybody around me, and that scares the crap out of me. The pull to start identify with want I feel is very strong, and sometimes so strong that I can’t help myself going into that identity of being that feeling. The feeling brings on a lot of thoughts, and in that moment it becomes very easy to identify with the feeling and the thoughts. And then I am on the road away from what I really am, away from the peace and love within me.
The last couple of months I have been working on an orphanage with children that has been removed from there homes, and that has brought my to a deeper level of emotions and feelings. I know in my head that this is to help me to get even more into my own vulnerable state of being, it is a gift for me to unwrap. Because for me it is much more easy to vulnerable in my own company than being it together with others. And especially others that are very afraid with being vulnerable. There are of course lots of reason why they area afraid of being vulnerable, reasons that makes good sense for the mind. And so also I have a lot of good reasons for not putting me out there and be vulnerable.
What happens when I follow that thinking process, and begins to explain to myself and others why I should not be vulnerable? I identify myself even more with the fear of the feelings and emotions. I step out of my vulnerable space and come onto the space of fear and thinking. And it is getter even harder to be with the feelings that comes my way. So then I use an old strategy of the mind and begins to be rational about the whole things, which only brings me further away. This is essential how the mind and ego works, this is what keeps them active and alive. This is the illusion of the mind and ego.
Being vulnerable is the way back, that is the key to allow myself to be with the feelings and the emotions. It seems for me that when I am in that space everybody can see right through me, and that is the fear talking. Because then I process or allow myself to be with all the emotions and feelings that are, and the mind and ego does not like this at all. In that space the mind and ego losses their predominate state, and is revealed as illusions. And then I begin to see things with my heart instead of with my mind or ego. Then I begins to see the truth about what I AM.
I’m ready to peel of the next layer of the mind made identity, and go a little bit deeper. Maybe it will not be the last layer but that is all right, I know that I can always go back and start again. This is what evolves me and bring further on to my travel here on earth. This is where true happiness and love is, right beside me for all eternity.
Rest in peace,
Love Jacob
det er i sårbarhed min virkelige prøve i tillid kommer. Har jeg tillid til at verden, mennesker omkring mig, ja jeg selv vil mig det godt? vil min kærlighed blive modtaget i ånden af netop kærlighed? føler det er som den store vejrtrækning, nogen gange er jeg beskyttet i min sårbarhed, når jeg bare er. Når jeg ikke selv har fokus på angsten for at blive såret, -hvor spørgsmålet simpelthen ikke stilles i mig. Andre gange er jeg netop sårbar fordi det betyder noget for mig at blive modtaget i kærlighed, når det er kærlighed jeg handler ud fra.
Jeg er et mennesker med et ego der også vil være her. Der ikke ønsker at blive udnyttet og ført bag lyset af andre ´mennesker. Ting er som de er – og er det ikke netop en del af livet? Nogen gange i lys, andre gange i mørke. I svedehyttens mørke spirer de næste skud, parate til at komme ud i lyset og vokse og nære sig her. Måske både de godt om mindre gode ting?????
Jeg er i krise lige nu
Jeg forholder mig stille, ydmyg og opmærksomt
Jeg venter
JEg beskytter mit hjerte
med den kærlighed jeg kan give mig selv
nurser det
jeg ønsker svar på spørgsmål
der ikke kan besvares
og søger derfor stilheden i mig’
for ikke at have behov for alle de spørgsmål
for tingene viser sig hen ad vejen
‘og hvis jeg forsøger at holde mig på den røde vej
så går ingenting galt
så er alt som det skal være
selv når den mand du troede du skulle leve sammen med
vælger at gå sin vej i vrede
fordi han har sit at slås med
og der er ikke længere plads til dig i hans verden
kiss
keep it simple
hey there notable little blogging site ya have right here
I utilize the exact theme on my own website though for whatever weird issue it seems to stream at a higher speed on yours eventhough yours features way more content material. Are you using any plugins or widgets that quicken it up? Do you think you could quite possibly reveal the names so maybe I would be able to use them in my web page so twilight eclipse followers could watch twilight breaking dawn online trailers and videos more easily I would be ever so pleased – cheers ahead of time 
Hey I like Robert! Hope there will be more in Twilight Eclipse!